Talk About It
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Most fertility websites, media and medical publications caters for heterosexual couples. The various routes that can be taken to promote fertility. Always punting to find a possible reason or “cure” for low sperm counts and other related problems before taking the route of finding a donor.
With same-sex couples, this chapter is normally skipped altogether. Couples do not have the choice but to use a donor of some sort. Be it a sperm donor or an egg donor. There is normally a gender short to follow the conventional way of reproduction. But it does not mean that certain psychological issues will not play a role.
Donor insemination means that a child will biologically belong to one party in the relationship. Both parties need to accept this. The party not biological connected to the child take on the full responsibility of the second parental figure to the child.
The party not bearing the child will have to go through a strenuous adoption process to get the legal rights to his or her child if not legally married. Since legalization of gay marriage in December 2006, at least now you have the choice to conceive or adopt your child within a safe legal frame-work.
It is still recommended (and this is your own personal choice) should you be a couple, to consider a legal entity of marriage or civil union before deciding to be parents. If you decide not to legally bound your relationship, ensure that you are aware of the legal complications when bringing a child into the relationship.
Most of the sperm banks/fertility clinics cater for these psychological needs of couples. Make use of them to put any doubts to rest.
The key for the couple is open communication. Talk about any emotions and concerns you have. Even if it difficult and you do not want to hurt or offend your partner. If it is not dealt with at the beginning stages of the procedure you choose to follow, it will come to light sooner or later and cause far more hurt and damage. If you find it impossible to air your concerns with your partner, talk to somebody you can trust e.g. your Minister, GP or counsellor.
